I am sometimes, inexplicably, accused of being insufficiently sober and judicious. Often, this involves puns. Over on Twitter someone started a very funny hashtag called #archaicfilms with retitlings of flicks to fit ancient themes. Like (a favourite) Acropolis Then, or Of Mycenae Men, or Never Say Nebuchadnezzar Again (!) or Sundial M For Murder … have a look if you are on Twitter.
This all made me very happy. And reminded me of a similar game when we lived in France in 2004-5 where, with some friends, we started doing Geriatric Rock Songs, riffing on the real titles in that way. The guilty accomplices were Martin Levin, Books Editor of the Globe, Neil Randall of U of Waterloo, my brother Rex, and my son Sam, but I did all the ones that you find funniest below, okay?
Yes, I am soberly and judiciously determined to brighten all your Mondays with a few of these, because I dug back into my email folders and found the exchanges. You are, of course, warned. Herewith, some geriatric song titles:
You Can’t Always Remember What You Want
Total Attack of the Heart
Every Breath You Took
One Less Cup of Coffee
Walking on Empty
Abraham, Martin, and Whatsisname (love that one)
Adam Raised His Cane
Teeth In a Bottle
The Shape I’m Out Of (that’s Martin, a major fan of ‘The Band’)
Shufflin’ Jack Flash
Bound For the Home (Simon & Garfunkle’s last reunion?)
The Needle and the Sweater Done
I’ve a Rocker
and a particular favourite, from Neil, this variation of the Byrd’s immortal ‘Turn, Turn, Turn’
And no, I am not apologizing. Can’t make me!
No editing this week, as I wait on Catherine. I’ve filled the week with meetings, accordingly. One of the good things this time around is we are way ahead with our cover. My American publishers, Roc, took charge of the design, used the same artist as for the last few (Larry Rostant) and I absolutely love the cover for River of Stars … how it echoes the one for Under Heaven, which just about everyone adored. The monumental figure chosen (with guidance from my editor there, Susan Allison) is perfect for the book. You can see it up top here, of course, or larger on Bright Weavings in the art gallery section.