You might be reading too much GGK if…

  • You have contact lenses in a dozen different colors, and change them according to your mood.
  • You keep trying to persuade your S.O. to wear an earring and recite poetry… or wear a cat-mask and carry a leash.
  • For three days every spring and autumn, you absolutely refuse to light fires, or use any electrical appliances.
  • You occasionally scan the liquor shelves for blue wine.
  • On your living room ceiling there’s a large picture of yourself as a god/goddess (done in mosaic).
  • Whenever you feel unwell, the first thing you do is pour some of your urine into a bottle and look at it.
  • Your music collection consists of the Brahms F Major Cello Sonata, and a few CDs of medieval troubadour songs.
  • You have dolphins on your bathroom wall.
  • The last time you were introduced to a woman, you kissed her hand and called her a peach.
  • Before any man is allowed to enter your home, you insist on cutting his arm.
  • You proposed to your spouse by saying “The sun rises in your eyes”, or you wore a red glove on your honeymoon.
  • You keep wondering where the hell the other moon is.
  • When you’re with several friends and they start debating where to go for dinner, trying to decide between Pizza Hut, Applebees, or the Outback Steakhouse, you suddenly scream “FOR THE GLORY OF THE BLACK BOAR!!!” and run, full speed, toward Burger King.
  • You think that the American Presidential Inauguration Ceremony should begin with the Chief Justice turning to the incumbent and saying, “Uncrown, the Lord of Presidents awaits you now”.
  • You spend an hour a week for nine months trying to convince your Life-Mate that “Diarmuid, Aileron, Davor and Pwyll” are all perfectly decent boys names, as are “Dana Sharra and Leila” for girls! (For the curious we ended up with “Cadel” *Gaelic/Welsh*)
  • You find yourself earnestly attempting to explain to your fathers good friend (who is a Vintner) how to properly make this “special blue wine” you’ve been craving…

    Signs compiled by Elena, Jaquandor and Anita.

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